It can’t be easy being an Easter Bunny, especially if you’re made of chocolate.
I’m never sure about the gender identity of most of the Easter Bunnies I’ve met. Possibly, they might be males since their work ethic tends to give them permission to take all the credit for the contents of the baskets – while they leave the egg hatching effort and responsibilities to the stay-at-home female chickens. On the other hand, the way the rabbit hides all those eggs in order to protect them, might suggest a more maternal instinct is at play, especially considering all the makeup, makeovers, and dye-jobs that get applied to the eggs. Not to mention the elaborate decorating of the baskets!
So while I may not know whether the bunny I’m about to eat is a “he”, a “she”, or a “they”, I usually just give up and think of it as an “It”.
And then, there’s the issue of racial identity. The Easter Bunny can be Chocolate, Marshmallow, or Peeps. By birth, I’m personally categorized as a Marshmallow, so you may be surprised to know that when choosing candy rabbits, I always vote Chocolate.
And, of course, that is the majority vote. Wikipedia says: “More than 50% of people in the United States prefer chocolate bunnies and eggs over other candies as their choice of an Easter treat. Due to their overwhelming popularity, over 90 million chocolate bunnies are produced yearly for consumers in the United States”.
According to Fox News, the father of the original chocolate Easter bunny was a man named Robert L Strohecker who worked for the Luden cough drop company. In 1890, he concocted this giant chocolate rabbit weighing about 400 pounds in order to start a new “line” of smaller candy treats. And the rest (pardon me, while I chomp on a cough drop in his honor) is history.
Nobody likes eating Marshmallow or Peeps bunnies when a Chocolate candidate is available. Of course, one has to wonder how the more desirable bunny feels about the outcome of its popularity. My avatar Chloe has a helpful perspective she may have plagiarized from our parish priest.
Total commitment is what’s demanded of every hapless chocolate Easter bunny. Every chocolate rabbit that gets “elected” to appear as the featured centerpiece of the Easter basket, can only expect a very abbreviated life expectancy, because at the earliest opportunity, it’s going to be eaten.
A recent tongue-in-cheek “study” published in The Laryngoscope journal found that “the vast majority of bunny consumers (59 percent) start with the ears. Yes, there are folks out there who flip their bunnies around and start with the rabbit’s foot or the tail. But not many of them — only 4 percent start there. . . Researchers found that 33 percent of people indicate no preference at all when going in for the all-important first bite.”
So there you have it. If I’ve spoiled your appetite for chocolate Easter bunnies, and if you insist on it, I’ll set up a merciful GoFundMe account on their behalf. (I can use the money!)
Meanwhile, I hope your having a Happy Easter!
Happy Resurrection Sunday!
Love the cartoon of the chocolate bunnies!!!