Everybody thinks the word that strikes terror in the hearts of trembling Seattlelites is the “E” word, but it isn’t. For Pacific Northwesterners, “E for Earthquake” is sorta high on the fear wordlist, all right. But in Seattle, it’s nowhere close to the shudder quotient of the “S” word. SNOW!

A flurry of snowflakes is usually welcomed by the Seattle school kids who dream of wiggling out of school for a “snow day”. When the snow starts “sticking” though, a strange phenomenon occurs. Not just the schools, but the entire city shuts down.

There are good reasons for this. According to Octo-woman’s sophisticated investigations, – revealed here – they are listed below.

1. Snow that ”sticks” means Seattlelites can’t go anywhere. Seattle’s average winter snowfall is (gasp) a little over one inch. Because of this catastrophic expectation, and because they can’t find any listed to purchase on amazon.com, the city of Seattle doesn’t own any snowplows. When an actual “blizzard” happens, they just have a few trucks they can hurriedly retro-fit with some kind of large dustpans, and there’s not enough of them to sweep the street you live on unless you happen to be on the city council.

2. It’s no problem visiting the city during a “snowstorm”, though. The SeaTac Airport is the proud caretaker of 45 snow machines of their very own that are supposed to clear the snow from the runways. Until it melts though, it might be best to remain at the airport for your visit. Good luck on getting scheduled for a return flight, but enjoy the coffee, the kiosks, and the bargain marked-down price of the Seahawks Super Bowl Winners 2023 T shirts.

3. Seattle is perpendicular. It was built on 7 hills. When 1 inch of snow melts, guess what happens. Like Octo-woman’s own driving history, it’s slip and slide and crash time. Most responsible citizens decide to stay home where the level ground, hot chocolate and Irish whisky are.

4. The ones that don’t though, – due to lack of practice – don’t know how to drive on anything other than bare payment. They have a habit of abandoning their vehicles hither and yon and then struggle home on foot through the “towering snow drifts” to await their towing fees. Many cars are orphaned and are awaiting the tow trucks that will haul them to the repair shops or to their final resting spot at the Scraps for Cash junkyard.

Now that we live an hour away from our former abode in Seattle, I would like to brag about how this week’s snowfall at Kartar Ridge Ranch has been completely uneventful. This is thanks to son-in-law Curt’s chain saw to chop up trees that fell across the driveway, and his 30 years of experience as the professional driver of 18 wheeler semi-trucks that know all about how to chew up chains.

Unfortunately, Curt isn’t home right now. A phone call alerted him to make a hurried visit to a nearby ditch which is currently containing his car-bound daughter Josie and son-in-law Caleb. Stuck in an unfriendly Enumclaw ditch. Curt was to be accompanied by the archangel named Saint Harry who lives next door to us with his gigantic getter-outer-of-snow machine. I hope the children can be extricated safely before the snow melts and I eat all the doughnuts and hot coffee I was saving to celebrate their rescue.

As the drama played out, though, Curt’s trusty truck and chain was actually able to extricate the car without Harry’s heavenly assistance, and he hauled it and its passengers home. At this time, Josie has made a sacred vow that she will never again travel in an automobile. We’ll have to see how that goes.

Usually the snow melts by now, but it hasn’t. That’s why we’re missing Mass tonight in fear of disappearing into another ditch. Instead, how about joining our prayerful viewing enjoyment with some of the snowy scenes we’ve been looking at on the farm this week. It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas!