We’ve got to discuss a little more about how to “go with the flow”.

First, I am pleased to reveal that on Thursday, son Matthew heroically weathered his first procedure to attain the status of Bionic Man. After two hours of surgery, his body was fitted with silicone parts which will soon allow him to (sort of) continue to go tinkle just like a regular person.

I would like to explain exactly how that magic was performed, and I would if I could, but Matt, daughter Susy, son-in-law Curt, and I are still trying to unsnarl meant-to-be helpful internet info explaining dialysis in language such as:

“Dialysis catheters are artificial indwelling transcutaneous conduits used to access the intravascular space or intraperitoneal space for renal replacement therapy . . . wide-bore central venous lines are used in extracorporeal renal replacement therapy (which hemodialysis, hemofiltration, hemodiafiltration, and ultrafiltration), while smaller transabdominal lines are used in peritoneal dialysis.”

I would continue typing out this valuable information for you but my iPad doesn’t know how to spell any more 8-syllable words.

Matt is weathering the post-op pain and discomfort of the surgery with his usual cheerful stoicism, but I thought of a good solution to ease his temporary suffering, while at the same time, expanding our “knowledge” of dialysis. Since the best antidote to pain is laughter, tonight, we’re going to start re-watching all the episodes of Patriot.

In case you’re not familiar with that delicious series, the hero of Patriot, played by Michael Dorman, is John Lakeman, a somewhat damaged, deadpan spy hero. As a cover for his spying activities, he works for – of all things – a piping supply company. It seems to me, if there was ever a time for our family to find helpful research on plumbing issues, this is it.

In this scene, John Lakeman possibly sums up everything Matt, Susy, Curt and I have learned, so far, about how dialysis must work, — at least, from a plumber’s point of view. Check it out here . . .

https://youtu.be/-F-IHvF5OCA

Getting back to real life, friends, we still don’t know kidney beans about the nuts and bolts of dialysis plumbing, but, thanks to niece Chris’s posting last week’s blob on her Facebook page, a retired teacher friend of hers, – Rose – gave us a description of the home-administered peritoneal dialysis her husband successfully used, and we have decided to try to do the same. (Thank you for your advice, Rose! It has really encouraged us!)

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Final note: we all spent most of last night in the emergency room at the hospital getting some tune-up work needed from the surgery, but we’re home now, everybody’s getting some rest, and Matthew is still managing to smile!