Whenever I’ve heard biblical references to “gnashing of teeth”, I never thought of it applying to me.

A couple years ago, a not-very-funny thing happened  while I was chomping on a Jolly Rancher.  I chipped a front tooth.  “Oh, darn it”, I muttered.  “Well, maybe, nobody will notice.”

A few months later, another chip on the same tooth – this time because I was biting on an ice cube.  During the months following, three more teeth did the same thing, and I philosophically reconciled myself to going through life snaggle-toothed.

The dentist I was going to for my routine checkups asked me if I wanted to do anything about them and I said No because (a) I am a spineless coward, and (b) it would cost a lot, and (c) I don’t think it would guarantee me a gig on Top Model anyway.

Flash forward to two months ago. A crown or bridge is feeling funny like it’s getting loose.  Haven’t needed anything but cleanings for a long time, but figured this visit to the dentist might involve some big bucks. I decided I’d better keep the investment in the family, and make the 38 mile trip to North Bend where my son-in-law Eric Opsvig has his dental practice.

I’ve had lots of dentists in my life, but, hands down, Eric is the best there is.  His practice used to be in Seattle, but after he moved to North Bend, I quit going to his office. It’s complicated making the trip to North Bend, and since I didn’t need much done anyway, I just kept going to the excellent Seattle dentist that Eric recommended.

Well, the long and short of it is that I went to North Bend, had a two hour appointment at Eric’s office today, and – surprise -, I somehow came home with a new mouth.  The visit today for supposed to be for “fillings on the front teeth”.  It never occurred to me, he also planned to do something about my Wicked Witch of the West smile.

After two hours in the chair (totally painless), Eric worked diligently, aided by his capable assistant, Laura.  When he finished, I was starting to get up and he handed me a mirror. I was dumb with amazement.  My teeth looked normal again.  I have no idea what he did or how he did it in two hours, but unexpectedly I don’t have crookedy teeth anymore.  Amazing.

Only minor problem is that I’ll have to find another Halloween costume next fall.  In spite of my outstanding cackle, my Wicked Witch get-up probably won’t cut it anymore.

Actually, there is one more issue.  As I was leaving, Eric gave me a warning.  “I don’t know how long this is gong to last”, he admonished with a meaningful glare. “Stay away from the Jolly Ranchers.”

If I wasn’t so pleased with my new mouth, I would have cried all the way home.  I’m really going to miss those hard candies.  Thank goodness for Costco’s Macademia Nut Clusters.