If you think you’re too small to make a difference, you haven’t spent the night with a mosquito.” African proverb

In case you’ve been yearning to be visited by a few of this summer’s mosquitoes, don’t give up hope yet. I’m pretty sure you won’t have to wait long. They love summer picnics – with you as the picnic.

Not all of them love you though. Only the females find you attractive. I learned that this week while studying a new report published in Current Biology. I was rather shocked. Of course, I try to support feminist causes, but I have to draw the line at bloodsucking. I find it to be very unladylike. I hope you agree.

It’s best not to underestimate the little vixens. Worldwide, they manage to murder about 600,000 humans every year by gifting them with nasty diseases such as malaria. I don’t think they do it on purpose though. It sounds like their terrorizing biting behavior only comes on when they’re suffering from some form of premenstrual stress syndrome. As a former PMS perpetrator myself, I – and my victims – can certainly relate to that.

Normally, as vegetarians, those itty bitty creatures live on the nectar from plants. Same goes for their rather useless male associates. The males have only one job to do – (Ahem). The rest of the time, they just hang out at the swamp guzzling nectar with the rest of the good ole boys.

Meanwhile, when our little females encounter their (our) problem — which is when it’s time to make all their teeny tiny eggs — they can’t, because they need more protein, namely your blood, to do it. Yours and mine, kiddo, and that’s when they come looking for us. It’s party time.

According to the study though, mosquitoes, no matter how desperate, will possibly avoid accepting you as a blood donor if you have been consuming vegetation from the eucalyptol family such as rosemary, bay leaves, sage, cardamon, or (gasp!), marijuana. The little snobs especially avoided one of the seven participants of the study who had apparently ingested a eucalyptol plant of unspecified origin.

So there you have it.This has been another humanitarian blob by Octo-woman who is still patiently awaiting the awarding of a possible Nobel Peace Prize, the Medal of Freedom, or her income tax refund, whichever comes first.