Of the 467 blobs I’ve posted on goingon80.com, the one I’m in awe of is the one numbered 348, not because of its content, but for the event it accidentally triggered.

In case you don’t know the story, I asked niece Chris Milner – who was one of its principal players – to narrate the tale just as it unfolded..

Chris started off with a partial image of the blob. The subject was Chris’s birthday, but later on, it happened to mention another important character in the story. . .

The Magical Power of the Blob

by Christine Fitzpatrick Milner

Wow, that title sounds a little like science fiction, but it’s true!

When I talk to my friends about the blog (or blob as my mom called it) written by my 91 year old aunt, they roll their eyes. This might be because 1) I talk about it a lot and they’re tired of hearing it, 2) I use it as evidence to confirm my stand on an issue, or 3) my friends are all around my age and their eyes just roll, probably because they’re nodding off. Regardless, I’m here today to tell you my aunt’s blog is magical and powerful!

To prove my hypothesis I’ll have to go back several years and set the stage. In1981 my sister, René, came to live with us in Ankeny. She was just barely 20, newly pregnant and wanting a new location.

We got her all set up with a room in our lower level private apartment (it was pretty much just a basement with some carpet remnants on the concrete floor and old paneling on the walls).

She started seeing my favorite gynecologist Dr. Ishmael Naanep who, when asked for a referral said he’d take René as a patient free of charge and arrange for an adoption for her. She took on a job as nanny for friends I worked with at North Polk Schools, Mary and Dave Summy, and we all began to take on our new routine as time moved on. 

Now it’s December 1981, and here is the story of labor and delivery from my perspective. When René came to live with us, which was probably sometime in April 1981, we’d kept her pregnancy a secret from Mark’s family and our extended family beyond her siblings. So since it was now Christmas and we always went to Cedar Rapids for the holidays we devised a secret plan and said René and I had the flu, so Mark and the kids went alone. To this day I don’t know how my kids didn’t let it slip!

Anyway, on Sunday the 27th things started happening, we waited it out for the magic 15 minute contractions then we made the call and headed into Des Moines to Mercy hospital. They kept us for a while but then sent us home because things weren’t moving along as quickly as they hoped.

It was a wintery night and driving was terrible so rather than drive back to Ankeny we went to our friends, Sue & Craig McCoy, in the Beaverdale area of Des Moines. They set up a cozy bed by the fire on their main floor and we spent the night there. Sue and I took turns with back rubs and coaching, she made tea, and throughout the night we carried on in the comfort of their home.

I don’t remember what time we re-checked into the hospital. It was morning though, and I’m thinking rather early because Sue and Craig had small kids then and I don’t remember the kids being awake. I don’t recall that Rene had a long labor. My more vivid memories are right in the delivery room. I don’t remember that as a long time either, but of course I wasn’t doing the work so René might remember it differently. 😉

I just remember that euphoric feeling seeing little Rena Jo enter the world and holding her for a time. Throughout those days after her birth I saw her one other time in the hospital room and thought she looked so much like my Heather as a newborn. That made the parting so much harder, too. Mark and I were in the room when the attorney came with all the paperwork and we all said our good-byes.

Mark has a memory beyond that of going to the cafeteria and when he was coming back to the room the elevator opened and he saw the lawyer holding a baby he thinks must have been her and a couple who were so happy and excited. It scared him that he’d walked in on something that he wasn’t supposed to see and he moved on. Sorry I don’t have more details, I think I blocked a lot of the painful stuff. I know after some time had passed I would create elaborate fantasies in my mind about a beautiful girl knocking on our door in Ankeny. Maybe I remembered our address being on those documents or maybe I just thought the Doctor Naanep connection would lead her to me.

Now fast forward to 2014. By this time my sister is happily married with 4 adult children and 3 adopted preteens. The oldest, Meghan, knows of her older sibling and the family have tried actively searching for her for years. René and her husband Dan have hired a private investigator but no solid leads came of it, until Meghan posted a plea on Facebook. From this, they met a young woman who met all the criteria, same date, same hospital, but sadly after establishing an online relationship, they discovered the DNA was not a match. The news was devastating. 

Now it’s 2017 and my husband Mark and I are enjoying some evening TV on a quiet October 6th when my phone alerts me to a Facebook Messenger post. I don’t recognize the name, Sarah Downard, and usually would just delete, but often I will get a contact request from a former student and in the case of girls might not know their married names so I checked it out.

Okay, have you digested all that? It still gives me chills 5 years later, so let me wipe the tears away and go on. Yes, Sarah had seen my Ankeny address on her adoption papers and did a search on the Polk County Property Assessor website, I guess my elaborate fantasy isn’t so far fetched now! That led her to google search Christine Fitzpatrick Milner and the first hit was…

Sarah and I spent the whole evening into the wee hours (Octowoman’s favorite time of day) messaging back and forth. She had lots of questions and concerns about contacting us. She was especially concerned about the effects on family, both hers and ours and wanting to be sensitive moving forward. I affirmed that she had been loved by this family all along! I knew how sensitive this was and appreciated her need to be careful of her family’s feelings!  I assured her our mom was  aware that René has been searching. Actually one of our touching stories about our dad is just about a year before he died he sat at the table and asked René if she’d had any luck finding her baby. When she told him no he said “I sure wish you could find her soon, I’d really like to meet her”. So I think he’s looking down from heaven saying ‘welcome to this crazy family, little girl!’ 

I TOLD YOU THIS BLOG IS MAGIC!

It was late in Texas so we agreed I’d contact René the next morning. I was concerned because I knew how busy things always are at their house so I knew I’d have to enlist some help. I texted Dan the next morning and asked if he could make some quiet, uninterrupted, distraction free time, with a box of Kleenex, for René so I could call her. (I don’t ask for much) He responded “what’s up?” And I relied “I found her!”  My phone rang immediately! It was Renè calling, laughing, she said “What’s going on? Dan just pushed me into the bedroom, said “call your sister” and shut the door. And now he just threw a roll of toilet paper at me!” So I told her what I’d learned the night before while she slept soundly not even knowing how her life had just changed. We cried a lot and I left her with the information to contact her long lost daughter. You’d think my part in all this was now complete. Oh, no dear reader! There’s more…

To be continued next week . . .