It was a dark and stormy night! We don’t know how he got in! We definitely weren’t prepared for a home invasion, but we should have been. It’s not like it hasn’t happened before.

My son Matt, grandson Bryce, and I were watching the first episode of The Wire’s new sequel called “We Own the City”. Suddenly, without warning, it happened! Footsteps! And then, ye gods! an intruder appeared in the room!

He traveled with maniacal speed across the room, leaped up on the couch, ran along the back of it, and then revealed his evil intentions: he wanted the burrito that Bryce had left on a plate.

He was clearly an uninvited and unwelcome guest. And one we could easily ID in a line-up of suspects: about 2 inches long not counting his tail, with brownish-gray fur, a white belly, and a real hankering for Mexican food. His DNA will likely reveal his race to be that of either a deer mouse or a field mouse who definitely enjoys life on the farm, hot sauce and refried-beans. Ole!

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Yes, another little mouse tried to horn in on our household here at Kartar Ridge Ranch. They just never learn! Encroaching on the territory patrolled by my daughter – our in-house Mousecatcher Susy – is just asking for the kiss of death, the Big Sleep, the coup-de-grace, the eternal rest resulting from getting whacked with that good old mousetrap smack-a-roo. But not this time.

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This time, when Susy hauled out her deadly mouse-catching arsenal, two new items had been added to its bank of fearsome mousetraps. They were cages. It seems that for the crime of home invasion, Susy had decided to offer a stretch in the stir as opposed to capital punishment. At least for a first offense.

Employing her best culinary art skills, Susy carefully set the tables in both cages, and in eight mousetraps: a veritable feast of ham with a side of cheese. Bon appetit! It was surely irresistible! . . . . Except it wasn’t. The first night, nothing happened.

We couldn’t understand it. Maybe the mouse was a day person. Or dieting. Or possibly vegan. Susy finally figured it out, though. Perhaps he was waiting for a splash of guacamole sauce!

The next morning, there he was! Incarcerated in a cage! And very upset about it. Feverishly plotting a prison break, he hadn’t even finished his gourmet meal. Caramba!

Susy, the mighty hunter, picked up the cage containing her trophy, marched it out to a nearby field, and made the reprieve. She carefully opened the cage door. The mouse burst out, leaped up a foot in the air, and then took off frantically running for parts unknown. On the lam!

We can count on one thing for sure. Assuming he has reasonably good sense, that mouse will never again venture into somebody’s house. Unless he gets an invite. Or maybe if they’re serving enchiladas!