One very good house. In excellent condition. Rigorously tested for stamina, stress and strain for nearly 50 years by large, rambunctious family. Weathered all abuse leveled at it with true valor, strength and heroism. This is a house that knows how to survive any disaster – except abandonment. Yes, tragically, it has been deserted by its family, ignominiously cast aside for greener pastures containing, yes, seven miniature asses. A house put up for sale, cruelly abandoned – and this is the thanks it gets for stoically enduring all those years of hardship, the less-than-fastidious housekeeping procedures applied to it, and the green shag carpeting covering the garage floor for the past 45 years. Please adopt this endearing and deserving house.

Well, I haven’t yet seen the brochure the realtor wrote for our house yet, but it’ll probably run along those lines.

Yes, the house got “listed” yesterday. (As in “up for sale”, not as in leaning over too far.) Kim, the realtor, said the listing went “live” at noon, and by 3 PM, she had 12 confirmed appointments for touring visits. An Open House was scheduled for 5 to 7 PM and during it 20 groups visited. More are scheduled today and tomorrow, and now I’m starting to panic. Redfin is describing it as a “Hot House”. It might actually happen that somebody’s going to try Take My House Away From Me. I’m appalled at the nerve of some people.

In case you’ve suffered with me through all my self-pitying blobs about my trials with moving and getting the house ready to be “listed”, please note that I’m not alone. In his book “Houses and Other Black Holes”, the humorist Dave Barry describes moving as being harder than bearing children.

“You take Couple A, who just had a baby, and Couple B, who just moved their household, and if you keep track of them, you’ll find that years from now, when Couple A’s baby has grown up, left home, and started a family, Couple B will still be rooting through boxes full of wadded-up newspaper, looking for the lid to their Mr. Coffee. Also, during childbirth, when things go wrong, trained professionals give you powerful drugs. Nobody is ever this thoughtful during a move.”

So I was busy. Too busy unpacking and trying to find Matthew’s toenail clippers to be rational. I can hardly be blamed for failing to fully assimilate the implications of “listing” my home. What was I thinking? Strangers are going to be staking their claim to my domicile of the past half century. What have I done?

Here’s one of the websites announcing the sale of the house, all staged and dolled up in party clothes. Isn’t it beautiful? Somebody besides me is definitely going to want to live there.

https://www.redfin.com/WA/Seattle/4714-NE-50th-St-98105/home/120920

Omygosh! That’s my house, guys. The one I’m abandoning.

I just read the realtor’s description of my treasured homestead. Unlike the one I composed above, here it is in case you missed it.

“Surrounded by mature landscaping and beautifully maintained gardens, this classic wood framed shuttered home abounds with charm and possibilities. Double door entry opens to find a light filled office, large formal living room with wood burning fireplace, a formal dining room, a chef’s kitchen with space for informal dining, and a great family/rec room also with fireplace. The family room and kitchen have access to a gracious patio and amazing grounds, including a garden shed. Plenty of room for a DADU! Upstairs are 6 large bedrooms including a primary suite with walk-in closet, romantic fireplace and full bath. A second set of stairs can be accessed at the end of the hallway. Oversized 2 car garage. Fresh paint and new carpeting.”

I’m going to have to face it. This is what happens when a realtor “stages” your house and then announces that it’s for sale. It makes somebody want to buy it. All jesting aside, however the sale goes, I’m exceedingly content with what my realtor has done. In case you want to know, her name is Kim O. Dales and she’s with Windemere Realty here in Seattle.

A few days ago, when the prep work was nearly finished, grandson Bryce did a fast unedited video walk-through the house so all of us who lived there could see how it looked before making its big debut on Zillow and Redfin. Here it is:

So that’s it for now. Once the sale is made, I hope the new owners will let me make a visit I need to apologize to the house for putting it up for sale – after faithfully sheltering the Ford Horde for so many happy years. Thank you, house.