You’re ready to upload the report you’ve been sweating over for 3 weeks just in time for its nearly overdue deadline! Relieved, you gratefully hit the Enter key. And on the next screen, you see . . .
An error has occurred while sending data over the network
In the olden days, you would then turn to the manual’s Error section for step-by-step instruction on how to fix the problem. But there are no manuals today. There is only Google. And the Help Desk, also known as Customer Assistance, or the Agency for Lost Causes and Forlorn Hope.
Just because you’ve completely forgotten your identity, your sanity, your purse in the ladies’ room, or your need to retain your employment, is no excuse to be bothering those nice folks at the Help Desk in Bombay, India. They’re working day and night to solve more critical problems such as why your cable company’s service crashed, and when is the next scheduled English as a Second Language class. (Actually, there is no Help Desk in the world which communicates in actual English, computer-speak being the only accepted lingo.)
The usual advice that any Help Desk is going to give you is:
- Restart the computer and log on again.
- If that doesn’t cure the problem, they’ll transfer you to another department.
Not that the Help Desk techies have it easy. The internet is rife with their tales of woe in dealing with knotheads. The following is supposed to be a true story:
Tech Support: “OK, Bob, let’s press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now, type the letter “P” to bring up the Program manager.
Customer: “I don’t have a “P”.
Tech Support: “On your keyboard, Bob.”
Customer: “What?”
Tech Support: “‘P’ on your keyboard, Bob.”
Customer: “I’m not going to DO that!”
Or, here’s another one:
Tech Support: “I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.”
Customer: “OK.”
Tech Support: “Did you get a pop-up menu?”
Customer: “No.”
Tech Support: “OK. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?”
Customer: “No.”
Tech Support: OK, Sir. Can you tell me what you have done up until this point?”
Customer: “Sure, you told me to write ‘click’ and I wrote ‘click’.”
The reason I’m bringing all this up is that my nephew-in-law Mark Milner is currently appearing in a really inventive online play produced by the Mask and Mirror Community Theatre in Portland, WA. It’s called Help Desk. There’s no fee to watch it, but hurry! Tonight’s (3/21/21) the last night it’ll be featured.
The script is creative and the acting is professionally delivered by actors who are having fun with it. It’s a full length play and it’s only appearing this weekend. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did! If you don’t have time to watch all of it, the segment Mark appears is in Act One and begins at 15:57. Yea, Mark! Here’s the URL to access it:
https://www.maskandmirror.com/
And as an interesting footnote, here’s a contribution to this week’s Help Desk subject by my daughter Judy. Recorded 31 years ago, it gave us just a taste of what was to come!
https://youtu.be/_riPm7cmXKY
Finally, if I’m ever on life support, don’t bother calling the Help Desk. Just unplug me. Then plug me back in, see if that works.
Loved the blog this week. So fun to see Judy’s adorable reading in 1991!! And so fun to watch Mark Milner performing in 2021.
Thank you for the giggles. Octowoman always has a surprise up her sleeve. Octowoman is amazing!
Judy is so cute!! What was the skit for? Did she write the script?
Side note: part of my job is answering help desk tickets… so everything about this post is wonderfully entertaining for me. Lucky for me, I deal with application issues rather than hardware issues, so I haven’t had to tell anyone to restart their computer! Not yet anyway….
You have a memory like an elephant (they’re my favorite).
My mom was and continues to be both charming and witty, with admirable style. Thanks for the footage!
I really do feel bad for anyone who has to learn English as a second language tho. Us native speakers got it easy. English is truly the most convoluted language!
What great fun! Judy’s reading was current even today. I always have a book or game available if I have to call the help desk, along with a script of all the points I want to bring up with my ‘expert’. And thank you for giving Mark such a nice shout out! I felt like I had his scene committed to memory after hearing all their rehearsals, but still enjoyed the show.
Can’t wait to sit and visit with you in the real world soon!!